Reactive attachment disorder is a condition of having a hard time connecting with people. It includes behavioral interactions and how the relationships form with others as an adult. A trauma disorder, established in childhood and becomes a paradigm for relationships in adulthood.
Unfavorable effects of attachment disorder in adults
Childhood experiences lay the groundwork for what attachment style a person carries.
As people age, they develop attachment behaviors based on what attachment they had as a child.
This is identified as a complex trauma, which is an effect of long-term exposure to a nerve-wracking event, which leads to a poor adjustment in different areas of an adult’s life.
These include children who have grown up physically, sexually, or emotionally in an abusive household.
Thus, parents play a big part in laying the foundation of how the child looks at the world in his adult life.
Four basic attachment styles in adults
These are four basic attachment styles – its impacts define how individuals react to their needs and how they are met.
People who are steadfastly attached are comfortable being open about themselves.
In particular, this is someone who goes to their partner for comfort when they feel troubled and allows others to lean on them emotionally.
They are confident, and self-possessed, and can interact with others easily, meeting both their own needs as well as that of others.
They grew up in an environment where supportive parents were consistently responsive to their needs.
These individuals are generally stable and dependable in their behaviors toward their partner.
Folks used to include their partners in decision making when it comes to their relationship.
In adulthood, these are adults who possess a positive perspective in life, are comfortable with closeness, and love physical or emotional intimacy. They are also unafraid of being dumped or rejected.
Satisfied couples are happy and honest in their romantic relationships. They like their partners to feel independent yet loving toward each other.
Also known as insecure-avoidant attachment style.
As an adult, they are awkward with emotional transparency and might renounce their need for intimate relationships.
They highly consider freedom of being single and develop techniques to minimize feelings of being alone, at the same time, avoiding to be viewed as a loner.
These techniques include but are not limited to:
- Shutting down from others.
2. Unable to say they care, when their behaviors demonstrate they do.
3. Keeping secrets to maintain the impression of self-sufficiency for being single.
They end up having destructive adult relationships because of this.
These people tend to choose a partner with that maladaptive pattern, most likely someone who isn’t the ideal choice to make them happy.
They keep themselves distant from their partner emotionally.
They seek isolation and feel delusional independence, likewise, taking on the role of parenting themselves.
Every person needs a connection. However, they tend to lead most inward lives, denying the need for love, and disconnect themselves from others.
They are psychologically defensive and able to suspend their emotions easily. When in emotional circumstances, they can shut off their feelings and not react.
The fearful-avoidant attachment
Also referred to as a disorganized-disoriented attachment style.
Children develop this style when exposed to a long period of abuse or neglect.
They become adults who are afraid of intimacy in a relationship. However, they long for an intimate relationship throughout their lives.
They acknowledge the value of relationships and yearn with it, but trusting others is challenging to them, and are afraid to be left out and rejected. They live with an uncertain outlook, afraid of being too close or too distant from others.
They strive to keep their feelings at bay but are unable to. They are affected by their reactions and experience mood swings all the time.
They view their relationships with the necessity of approaching others, to meet their needs, but worry about being affected when they get close to others.
They are people who go to the same person they are afraid to be close to for safety. As a result, they have a chaotic approach to getting their needs met by others.
The fear of being rejected makes them strive to be intimate. These individuals tend to find themselves in a muddled condition and might wind up in an abusive relationship.
Also known as an insecure-ambivalent attachment style.
Children develop anxious attachment when parents are inconsistent with their responses to them, resulting in confused expectations.
- Sometimes, these parents demonstrate nurturing, caring, and attentive behaviors.
2. Other times they are cold, rejecting, or indifferent.
Sensitive adults, even in a slight shift in their relationship, they yearn for a consistent connection to the point of being clingy.
Individuals who have this attachment style need more validation and approval than other types of attachment.
They are desperate to form a delusional bond but often feel emotional hunger.
They often see their partners complete them, however, their actions push their partners away.
When they feel threatened in their relationship, they often become demanding and possessive toward their partner.
Confused adults interpret the independent actions of their partner as an affirmation of their fears. When their partners socialize with other friends, they come up to thinking they will be left out and rejected.
Individuals who tend to choose someone who is too demanding of attention.
Every style of attachment affects everything, from choosing a partner to how the relationship’s progress, to sadly, how they end.
Characters developed from childhood traumatic experiences, shape how one responds to others and adults find themselves repeating the same behaviors throughout their lives.
Learning the attachment pattern helps people understand their strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.
If you know your attachment style, you can discover ways to help yourself from being mentally unstable, challenge your defenses, and work on developing yourself an earned secure attachment.
Therapy can help change maladaptive attachment patterns.
Together with your partner, you can alter your behavior toward insecurities and fears, and develop new styles of attachment for trusting, and a pleasurable, loving relationship.
Although parents play a big part in setting the foundation of characters in your childhood, you as an adult can create an improvement for yourself and your behaviors within any relationship.
By understanding how childhood experiences shape your attachment style and its connection to your present interactions, you can improve your relationships as an adult.
Awareness can help you take those first steps towards change and develop a securely attached relationship with those around you.
Source Link: Psychology Today